I am certified to teach English

Today, I received two pieces of paper in the mail that indicate to the world that I am good enough to teach English. Actually, the official title (or whatever it's called) of the certificate is:

Level 4 Certificate in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages

Hence, TESOL. Some ruminations:

1. What the hell is Level 4? What are the other levels?

2. I got two certificates... one from Trinity College and one from OxfordTefl. How come Trinity College (with whom I had essentially no contact except for maybe 30 minutes with their moderator on the last day of the course) was smart enough to know that I completed the course in October, but OxfordTefl (where I spent over seven hours a day for a month... usually more) thinks that I took the course in November?

3. How come the International Examinations Board doesn't use commas? "Accredited in England Wales and Northern Ireland"? What irony.

4. Why do they bother sending me a coupon for a free issue of English Teaching Professional ("the leading practical magazine for English language teachers worldwide") if it expires 1 Dec 2006? I mean, the envelope is postmarked 5 Dec. Perplexing.

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I ordered a new coat today. It should arrive in four to seven business days:



I don't need this. At all. But if I don't spend absurd amounts of money this holiday season... I'm letting the terrorists win. And we can't have that. So I guess I was morally obligated to purchase this.

(I really need to stop buying stuff. In my defense, I return like half the stuff that I buy.)

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Fun word of the day: smock

Worst word in the history of the world: panties