I need to not write about people... ever

I think my blog has about three regular readers. It started with maybe two. Unfortunately, my big mouth sometimes does an unintentional plug which usually results in the dreaded question, "You have a blog? Where?"

This, my three (maybe now four) faithful readers, is a problem. Because usually, when I mention people on this blog, there can be only two reasons:

1. I voice complaints about said persons. Strongly.

2. I express awe at their physical... physicalities. Strongly.

Clearly, nobody wants to be on the receiving end of either reason. Or read a not-so-blind item about himself or herself in some crazy person's blog. So... from now... my mouth is shut.

Newest obsession: FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS

(Scheisse. I'm doing it again...)

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Update: Yet another inquiry tonight. I just realized that every time an additional person finds out about this thing, a little piece of my already withered soul dies. Or at least becomes... un-mine. (Like that belief of the aboriginal tribes that Matilda references to Derek.) Because then I start censoring myself a little more. Hence, ye olde original readers, I must hold ye in the highest regard.

Gmail thinks I'm a loser

I've been exchanging emails with my friend (I'll call her Jaye), and we've amassed a pretty lengthy "conversation" on Gmail. Today, however, I finally take a quick look at the related ads in the sidebar. (You know... you mention wanting to take a trip to France, and links to travel websites appear, etc.)

According to Google, Jaye and I need to visit these sites:

1. "Men Relationships" -- What do men want in relationships? Find out how to read his mind.

2. "Kissing Tips" -- Powerful kissing tips to make her melt in your mouth and in your hands!

3. "Signs He Likes You" -- Find out from a real man. I confess the secret that makes men commit!

(And the best one of all...)

4. "Ugly?" -- Are you? Take the quiz, free!

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Uh... I feel pathetic. It's one thing to suspect that your boy talk is bordering on immature and pitiful; it's quite another to have it confirmed by a major U.S. corporation. Jaye's take? "God, even Gmail thinks I need help!" Me? Well... at least Google is nice enough to let me find out for free if I'm ugly (even though they already concluded that I probably AM ugly from the apparently pathetic content of my emails). I mean, you can't really help being ugly. But it might suck even more to be poor.