"The Holiday" is absymal

In order to prevent people from spending $10 of their hard-earned money on this cinematic rubbish, I have compiled a very clear list of why this movie is just horrible:

Utter lack of logic:

1. Are we supposed to believe that these too-busy-to-make-love-work workaholics would REALLY suddenly pick up and leave the country, especially since they hold such pivotal positions at their respective companies?

2. Who would actually go online, chat with someone for five minutes (even if it IS a fellow man-hater), and agree to let that person completely sublet her home and car for two weeks... starting the next day? Nobody does background checks anymore? (And how did they even get into each other's houses?)

Use of romantic comedy cliches:

1. Heroine has a romantic revelation, races to her would-be significant other's home, professes her love... only to realize that the other person is not actually alone at that moment.

2. Go-getting, fast-talking American girl visits Quaint English Countryside and becomes smitten with Charming English Bloke.

3. People fall in love. In like two weeks. HA!

Poor filmmaking decisions:

1. You cannot use a song in a film that is totally associated with another one... is there anyone in the world who does not immediately think of Garden State after hearing the first few seconds of "Let Go" by Frou Frou? Didn't think so. What's next... "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" in the next Everest movie?

2. This movie tried to be important with a subplot that involved The Old Guy Who Teaches Young Person Some Sort Of Lesson (also see: In Her Shoes, Finding Forrester, Dawson's Creek). Why do people think that putting old people in a movie adds some sort of poignancy?

Conclusion:

The studio must have kidnapped Kate Winslet's child to coerce her to do this film.

Sigh. Maybe I'm being too harsh. Nobody goes to see romantic comedies to see anything that's going to change anybody's life. To the movie's credit, there were some good points:

1. It did not use my most hated movie cliche: Dying Girl Teaches Selfish Boy How To Wholly Love And Truly Live

2. Forty-five glorious seconds of the beautiful John Krasinski

Obsession of the week:

Singing along to Boyz II Men videos on YouTube

I am certified to teach English

Today, I received two pieces of paper in the mail that indicate to the world that I am good enough to teach English. Actually, the official title (or whatever it's called) of the certificate is:

Level 4 Certificate in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages

Hence, TESOL. Some ruminations:

1. What the hell is Level 4? What are the other levels?

2. I got two certificates... one from Trinity College and one from OxfordTefl. How come Trinity College (with whom I had essentially no contact except for maybe 30 minutes with their moderator on the last day of the course) was smart enough to know that I completed the course in October, but OxfordTefl (where I spent over seven hours a day for a month... usually more) thinks that I took the course in November?

3. How come the International Examinations Board doesn't use commas? "Accredited in England Wales and Northern Ireland"? What irony.

4. Why do they bother sending me a coupon for a free issue of English Teaching Professional ("the leading practical magazine for English language teachers worldwide") if it expires 1 Dec 2006? I mean, the envelope is postmarked 5 Dec. Perplexing.

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I ordered a new coat today. It should arrive in four to seven business days:



I don't need this. At all. But if I don't spend absurd amounts of money this holiday season... I'm letting the terrorists win. And we can't have that. So I guess I was morally obligated to purchase this.

(I really need to stop buying stuff. In my defense, I return like half the stuff that I buy.)

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Fun word of the day: smock

Worst word in the history of the world: panties

I'm smart because I went to a museum

So in an effort to not feel like a total amorphous blob, I decided awhile ago that I was going to actually DO stuff on Sundays (my only day off... cue sympathetic music here) instead of sleeping until two, vegging all afternoon, and finally showering at seven. Yesterday was my first "Cultural Sunday" (let's see how long this lasts), and I went to the American Museum of Natural History to see an exhibition on gold.



What did I learn? Not much. I remember that a Godiva chocolate bar costs $2.95 in the gift shop. I saw Susan Sarandon's Oscar. And apparently from WW2 until 1974 or something, Americans weren't allowed to own any gold except in the form of jewelry. I thought that was interesting.

Oh yeah, so I bought something amazing again. My cousin Laura introduced me to the body scrub from Sabon. IT'S SO FANTASTIC! Apparently, the sea salts are from the Dead Sea (or at least that's what they want you to believe since it's an Israeli company), and it makes your skin SO soft after using it. And it smells unbelievable too. (The girls in the store are super nice. They make you try all their products, and they taught me to say "couch potato" in Hebrew. But I forgot.)



So that's it. Nothing else happened this weekend. Although my friend compared my clothing style to Joey Potter's since I was wearing jeans and a tank top when I saw her. I thought that was kind of strange.

Three weeks until Christmas. Rah.