Santa's slutty helpers

So I was in Victoria's Secret tonight, redeeming one of those free underwear coupons that come in the mail. While I'm digging through the ugly solid-colored cotton underwear options in the back corner of the store where nobody ventures except to redeem said free underwear coupons (is there anybody in the world who pays full-price -- scratch that -- pays at ALL for those things?), I hear some unnaturally squeaky voices come from the dressing room area. There there two giggling pre-teens (I seriously wondered if they were even developed enough to wear bras) trying on those Sexy Santa skirts.



One of the girls asked the salesgirl what she thought. The salesgirl bit her lip and said, "Well, I think you'd have to wear something underneath, like leggings."

I mean... is it even LEGAL to sell somebody who's not old enough to drive something like that? Then, all of a sudden, three MORE girls materialized with identical pink Victoria's Secret bags with their own identical pink slutty skirts. I mean, it was like 8 p.m.! How are they even allowed out shopping on a Monday night? Then it dawned on me: they saw "Mean Girls" three years ago and thought it'd be clever to dress like the main characters for Halloween. Then a worse thought dawned on me...

Maybe they HADN'T seen the movie.

"Don't nobody wanna see a black bitch go ghetto on the train!"

I swear that somebody said this on the subway last night. Several issues:

1. You make black people look bad. You make women look bad. You make it okay for people to refer to women as "bitches."

2. You're an idiot. You're on the subway... in MANHATTAN. Somebody might bump into you by accident, and if you'd take those Cheetos out of your mouth, maybe you'd have less mass into which they could bump.

I really hate it when people go crazy on the subway because somebody touched them by accident. It's going to happen. Deal with it.

Khai knows what's up

Khai, my cashier guy at Border's at Columbus Circle, is awesome. I had a coupon to buy up to three single-disc CD's at $11.99 each. He let me get four (including one double-disc) because he's awesome. He was also wearing an awesome Wolverine shirt.

Khai... you know what's up. I tried Facebooking you but there were too many people with your name. I want you to love me, but I think you are gay.

(I am creepy.)